


Redemption

by katherynmae



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, episode tag: 3x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katherynmae/pseuds/katherynmae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joan and Vera run into each other after Bea's attack and after some nudging (and jealously) from a slightly unexpected third party, Joan reveals what was going through her mind that afternoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "The Governor's Pleasure" ... you have been warned.

The soft beat of the radio echoed through the car and absentmindedly, Vera Bennett found herself drumming along to the tune as she drove. For the third time that month, she was making yet another stop in to the rehabilitation center to pay a visit to the one man who she thought she would never do a kindness to again. But, after Matt Fletcher had his accident, which had landed him in a coma for nearly three months, she found herself being pulled back in once more. 

It wasn’t that she loved him, she wasn’t sure if she had ever loved him, but a part of her felt the need to support him. Instead of blaming herself for going back week after week, she tried to blame him, and on one occasion, she thought that she could blame her mother. But she had to shake herself at those thoughts, knowing that no one else was asking her to go see him. She chewed the inside of her cheek as she pulled into a parking spot near the end of the row, staring down the line of parked cars to the entrance of the clinic and she leaned her chin on her steering wheel. 

“Now or never.” Mumbling to herself, Vera dug into her purse for the disability forms that she had brought along, trying to set her mind at ease with simply the fact that she was doing him one more good deed. Swinging her purse onto her shoulder, Vera exhaled sharply, knowing the sooner that she got in there, the sooner her guilt would ease. As she clicked her car doors locked, she stopped, hearing a set of footsteps behind her, and her grasp on her keys tightened. They weren’t exactly the _most_ suitable weapon that she knew would be effective, but she had been on edge for the past week. 

Instead, the set of feet stopped a few feet short of her, as if the owner of them had realized how spooked she had been. Their shadow cast over the hatch of Vera’s car and she squinted in the evening sun, turning her gaze towards them. 

“Governor?” Raising an eyebrow, Vera felt herself relax and she shoved both her keys and the disability papers into her purse. “What are you doing here?” Stepping towards Joan, she couldn’t help but take in the usually conservatively dressed woman’s attire. Instead of her usual pantsuit, complete with tightly wound bun, Joan wore a pair of slacks and a navy blue blazer, and her hair fell around her shoulders. 

“I’m sure that I could ask you that same question Vera.” Stretching out a hand, Joan grasped Vera’s elbow lightly, already knowing her answer as she steered her towards the clinic’s doors. Her grasp was just tight enough on Vera’s elbow to steer her towards the doors, but not tight enough that she could pull away if she wanted. “I must say, I’m a bit surprised that you would be visiting Mr. Fletcher considering the history that the two of you have.” 

Vera shrugged, keeping her gaze fixed in front of her as they walked and she couldn’t help but steel herself as she sighed. “He needs a friend.” Her response was simple, just what she felt Joan deserved given the uncomfortable tension that floated between them since Bea and Maxine’s riot. She wanted to be able to tell Joan more but she knew she couldn’t continue to bear her heart on the line when she almost always returned with nothing. 

“He has other friends Vera.” When they reached the entrance, Joan stopped, staring down at the woman who she continually viewed as her most trusted confidante, “You don’t need to be dragging yourself down this road again.” She meant how faithfully Vera had cared for Rita, pulling up with her until she had reached her breaking point, and she cracked a small smile at her deputy, trying to be encouraging. “Mr. Fletcher has other friends, and doctors here, who will make sure that he can get whatever help he will need.” 

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion.” Vera’s voice was cold and her tone surprised the both of them as she pulled her arm free from Joan’s grasp. Shifting on her feet, Vera blinked at her once again, swallowing hard, “I’m perfectly capable of handling myself.” 

“And you’ll hope that one day, Mr. Fletcher becomes as bad as your mother so you can decide when you’re done caring for him?” Joan’s words stung and she internally cursed herself for being so cold. She knew that while Vera had made the right choice, and stuck by it, her actions still haunted her. Instead, she reached for Vera’s hand, hoping that she could pull her back in just enough to listen, “Just take care of yourself and make sure to put _your_ needs before his.” 

Vera bit the corner of her lip, nodding slowly, and she sighed softly, glancing at the door once again. “Why don’t you come in today?” Shifting on her feet, she meant the invitation to be a slap in Joan’s face, reminding her that she could be a kind person without venturing back down any roads at all with Fletch. “You’ll see that I’m not doing anymore for Fletch than trying to help him get his life figured out.” She didn’t really _want_ to invite anyone, especially Joan, to her meetings with Fletch, but she was running out of ideas on how to shake her. “But, if you come in, I don’t want you speaking to him about his and my history _or_ Bea’s attack.” 

Joan nodded slowly, a bit surprised that Vera hadn’t mentioned the attack to Fletcher if she had been home for the past two days. It wasn’t her choice, Joan would have much preferred that she have gotten a moment to sit with Vera and talk with her, one on one, but Channing had ruled that one out immediately. “Agreed.” A part of her knew that she wouldn’t be able to hold her tongue, depending what Fletcher said to her, and she managed to crack another small smile as Vera and her stepped into the clinic. 

Wordlessly, Vera shifted on her feet, signing both her and Joan in for the afternoon and she chewed on her lip a bit more. Pushing her hair out of her face, she glanced over her shoulder to wear Joan was watching her and she felt a twinge of regret as she realized that Joan was trying to look out for her. But almost immediately, she was reminded of how easily it had seemed for Joan to watch her attack and she ground her teeth together. “Come on Governor, let’s go.” 

The two of them walked side by side through the clinic, making their way down the hall to the exercise room where Fletch typically spent his afternoons. Every few steps, Vera found herself flinching away as Joan’s hand brushed up against her arm and she eyed her, trying to figure out why she had chosen to show up. As they stopped outside of the room, Vera turned to blink up at Joan once more, “If Fletch wants you to leave, can you just _listen_? It won’t hurt to take someone else’s advice for once.” Her comment had just as much dig as Joan’s did about her mother and she turned on her heel, stepping into the room. 

Making her way across the room to the table where Fletch sat, Vera let out a long sigh, dropping into the chair across from him. She had been told the week before that Fletch could remember a bit more about who came and went, along with the few months before his accident, and she reached across the table to rest a hand on his. “Fletch?” Her voice was soft, and from where she hovered a few feet away, Joan had to admit that it didn’t _look_ like Vera was expecting anything in return. “Do you remember me?” 

“Yeah.” His voice was rough, but Fletch nodded, staring at where Vera’s hand covered his and the corners of his lips twitched. “You came to see me last week.” He opened his mouth, hovering for a moment as he nodded again, “We worked together, right? Before my accident?” His words made Vera laugh softly and he blinked at where Joan stood a few feet away, “She works with us too. Doesn’t she?” 

Shifting in her seat, Vera turned to look over at Joan, and she nodded slowly, half wishing that Fletch had recognized her. “Yeah, that’s our Governor, at the prison where you worked. She wanted to come check on you today, see how you’re doing.” Impressed at how easily her lie slipped down, she waved Joan over to the empty chair besides her, “Is it okay if she comes to sit with us?” 

Again, Fletch nodded, his lips twitching into a curve as Joan made her way over to sit besides Vera, “It’s nice to see people who I used to work with.” He missed the flicker of darkness in both Joan and Vera’s eyes at the mention of work and he turned to stare at Vera once more, “You brought the papers, right?” 

This caused Joan to straighten up a bit, she had been Vera shoving papers into her purse but she hadn’t realized that they were for Fletcher. She stiffed a bit as Vera withdrew them and she pursed her lips, scanning the header of the leaflets. A flicker of pride flashed in her eyes, grateful that Fletcher wasn’t going to be returning to Wentworth - a fact she had made sure of from the start - and she shifted on her chair. 

“I didn’t fill them out for you Fletch, that’s something that your doctors need to do for you. But that should be everything you need.” Flicking through the pages, Vera slid them across the table, blinking at Joan out of the corner of her eye. “I put in a few complexes that will provide accessible housing for you, since you’re going to need a few months more work before you’d probably be able to walk freely around by yourself. And a home care service, just in case the doctors here don’t have one.” 

“I thought I would be staying with you.” Fletch’s words caused both Vera and Joan to blink at him and he stared at Vera, a bit confused. “I thought … you and I … wouldn’t I just stay with you and your mother until I get better?” 

Vera winced visibly at the mention of her mother and she shook her head slowly, “Fletch … I live by myself now.” She could’t bring herself to admit that her mother was dead, Joan’s words echoing in the back of her mind, “But I’m sure that I could come visit at your place sometime once you get settled, make things a bit more comfortable for you.” 

“Vera.” Joan warned and she rested a hand lightly on Vera’s arm, “Be careful.” She stared back down at her hand, nodding and she had to frown a bit at the offer that hung in between the three of them. 

“You could stay with me sometimes?” He didn’t mean romantically, after all, Vera had made it clear to him the past week that there was no hope of them rekindling their relationship. “Just until I get some kind of nurse or something? It would be nice to have a friend. Not some stranger instead.” 

Pursing her lips, Vera nodded slowly, “I know, but Fletch, you need to learn how to do things yourself.” She paused, seeing his face fall and she gave a small shrug, not truly caring what Joan thought of her relationship with Fletch, “Maybe, just maybe, I can try to work something out so you can get settled. But it’s not forever. You need a proper nurse, someone who is trained to help you.” 

“ _Vera_.” This time, Joan curled her fingers around her wrist and she tugged her hands from the papers on the table in front of them, “Can I say something to you?” She didn’t wait for a response before plowing on, “I know what you were like when your mother was sick, you were exhausted and worn down to the point where I _had_ to send you home. You’re a much stronger person now Vera, and well, you don’t need to help everyone you consider a friend.” Pausing to glance at where Fletch eyed them, she dropped her voice, “Especially considering what you just went through.” 

Mentioning her attack was a mistake and Vera leaned forwards, her forehead almost touching Joan’s, “Please … leave.” Her voice shook and when she spoke, it was barely above a whisper, “I don’t want you bringing up anything more about my life in front of Fletch.” Straightening up, Vera couldn’t help but smile internally, all too proud of herself for standing up to Joan. 

“Fine then.” Scooting back in her chair, Joan stood, resting a hand on the papers in front of Fletch’s gaze and she gave a small nod. “Good luck with things Mr. Fletcher.” Turning on her heel, she made her way from the room, only to pause when the door closed behind her. Peering over her shoulder, she smiled a bit more, seeing Vera inch the papers back towards Fletcher and she cursed herself. She knew all too well that Vera _was_ wise enough to make the right choices for herself, but she couldn’t help but worry. 

Making her way down the hall to the foyer of the clinic, Joan dropped into one of the plastic chairs, her gaze fixated on the hall she had just come down. If she knew Vera as well as she thought that she did, she knew that she couldn’t have much more to say to Fletcher before she finished her visit for the day as well. A part of her wished that Fletcher and Vera had a nastier split at the end of their run, only because it would make her job of convincing Vera that she had enough to deal with without adding him back to the mix much easier. But, another, much larger part of her, was grateful how little history they had together. 

“Governor?” 

Stopping in front of her, the first thing that Joan noticed was Vera’s shoes and she looked up at her, “Vera.” Standing, Joan swallowed, meeting her gaze, “How did things go?” She knew it was a foolish question to ask, Vera couldn’t have possibly spent more than a few minutes in the room once she had left and she nodded towards the exit. “I think I owe you a coffee and an explanation.” 

“You don’t owe me anything.” Signing both her and Joan out, Vera blinked coldly at her, unsure how she could keep her composure, “I shouldn’t have invited you in with me.” The door of the clinic swung shut behind them and she sighed, shaking her head, “I don’t _expect_ any answers from you either, you have enough to deal with without making my personal life any of your concern.” 

“I think I do Vera.” Stopping on the sidewalk, Joan reached for Vera’s arms, holding her in place and she blinked at her, her gaze softening. “I _owe_ you an explanation, whether you think that I do or not.” She glanced down the line of cars to where Vera had parked and she dropped her hands, hovering in front of her, “Please.” 

Vera had to stop at this and she swallowed, a bit nervously. She wouldn’t exactly call this _begging_ , but it was certainly a side of her Governor that she never expected to see. Seeing Joan caring was one thing, but this was beyond that, a mixture between apologetic and almost a bit frightened. “No coffee.” Nodding slowly, she glanced at where a small bench sat at the edge of the clinic, just a stone’s throw from where she had left her car, “We’re going to sit and you’re going to answer my questions.” 

It wasn't exactly a request that Joan could deny and she lead the way to the bench, Vera following close behind her, and she let out a long sigh as she stopped beside it. “You know, coffee would make this a bit more friendly.” 

“I’m not doing this to be friendly.” Sitting on the bench, Vera blinked at Joan, her eyes narrowed slightly and she swallowed. The last thing she wanted to talk about was her attack but it was the only thing that she could focus on long enough to question its events. “What _happened_ the other day?” 

“Vera, I … I’m sorry.” The words slipped from Joan’s lips before she could stop herself and she dropped on the bench besides her. She couldn’t bring herself to replay every moment in her mind and she swallowed, “I should have done _something_.” Reaching for Vera’s hand to grasp it in her own, Joan wasn’t at all surprised when Vera yanked her hands into her lap, eyes narrowed at her. “But you know how I work.” 

Biting her lip, Vera nodded slowly, “What if they _had_ hurt me?” Her voice choked in her throat and she blinked at Joan, her eyes wide, “What if they had a shiv instead of just the needle? What would you have done then?” 

Joan pursed her lips, she hadn’t truly _thought_ about what she would have done, and truthfully, she wasn’t even sure if she had been thinking straight that entire afternoon. “You’re my second in command Vera, I trust you above anyone else.” 

“Then _why_?” 

“Because Bea already knows my greatest weakness. I couldn’t let her do any more damage without taking a risk.” Joan couldn’t believe that she was saying what she was and she let out a long sigh, trying to meet Vera’s gaze. This time, when she reached for Vera’s hands, she grabbed them up in her own before she could pull away. Her voice shook ever so slightly as she went on, keeping her gaze locked on Vera’s, “There will hundreds of things that I wanted to do in that moment but legally, none of them would have kept me my job. So instead, I did what was best.” 

“Let _me_ get attacked?” Vera’s eyes went wide and she shook her head, exhaling sharply. “The Joan Ferguson that I know as Governor wouldn’t have let it happen. What made it so different?” 

“It was _you_ , Vera. I couldn’t bear to watch them hurt you.” Joan’s voice was nearly a whisper and she swallowed, watching a slew of emotions flash in Vera’s eyes before she went on. “Channing was right, I _should_ have done something differently, but I kept seeing your face, even when I couldn’t. And the thought of me being in control of whether _you_ lived or died, that I couldn’t handle.” 

Vera bit her lip, unsure of what to say and she nodded slowly, realization dawning on her. “That’s why Channing took over.” 

“No.” Joan shook her head slowly, “He took over because I couldn’t think straight anymore. I couldn't see right from wrong by that point.” Pursing her lips, she nodded slowly as she met Vera’s gaze once more. “If I kept going, I would have done anything to keep you safe, even if it meant going out there myself. I would have hurt _whomever_ I had to in order to ensure your safety Vera, and that, that isn’t the Governor that I want you to see me as.” She couldn’t admit that she _had_ in fact hurt others for her own personal gain, not yet, she had done enough soul bearing for one afternoon. 

“You … you … why are you telling me this?” Vera’s eyebrows knitted together and she let out a small sigh, confusion reflected in her gaze. 

Joan paused, thinking that she had been far too obvious that Vera would have understood by that point, and her lips twitched upwards into a smile. “You’re more than just my deputy Vera, and maybe a bit more than my friend as well. I can’t have someone who I care about so much thinking that I _wanted_ them to hurt.” She inhaled sharply, and nodded as Vera cocked her head to one side, blinking at her, “People who hurt the people I love don’t realize who they’re dealing with.” 

Returning her smile, Vera nodded slowly, even more realization dawning on her and she smiled, giving Joan’s hands a gentle squeeze in return. “I understand. I would have done the same if it were you.” Pausing, she chose her next words carefully and her grin widened, “No one messes with _my_ Governor and gets away with it.” 


End file.
